- Kid: Yeah give me a pack of Marlboro Reds.
- Cashier: Are you 18?
- Kid: It's okay, they're a metaphor.
same with dan bilzerian. fuck dan bilzerian.
if you’re a dude who idolizes jordan belfort, we’re not off to a good start.
Anonymous asked: Describe a bad blowjob
nothing quite gets on my nerves like people who indirectly grieve a death. they’ll say something like “i hadn’t talked to him/her since 1st grade and we weren’t all that good of friends but he/she was a great guy/girl and god bless him/her”. people like that need to keep their fucking mouthes shut. a person’s death shouldn’t be exploited like that so the person can suddenly look like a humanitarian and catch a few retweets. shut the fuck up and let people who actually suffered grieve.