that helps even more.
listening to the microphones’ ‘the glow pt 2’ as i write this. it’s been my soundtrack for the past week or so.
it’s my dad’s first birthday we’re celebrating without him. i kind of figured today would be pretty bad going in. i feel the same way i did when i first found out about his death. it’s just an overcoming numbness. it’s hard to even look at pictures anymore. there were just so many awesome things he did that i can’t forget. i found this picture a while back of us two that’s probably my favorite picture in the world. i don’t remember it, but it reminds me of my dad when he was healthy; how fun he was, how happy he was. no misery whatsoever.
it’s a weird day. i had to dodge the family gatherings, i felt that would spoil my mood more than it needs to be and i’d take a walk back into that dark place. either way, i just freaking miss my dad. the way he was in this photo; i don’t ever want to see another human experience the misery he did in the last ~1 year of his life.
it goes beyond this. after this happening, i just don’t feel right anymore. haven’t for a while. there’s always this lurking emptiness after experiencing loss. although lurking might be a bit of a generous term for it all.
can’t wait to get on the road.
'through the trees pt. 2' by mount eerie is an example of a perfect song
mass amounts of coffee and rush’s ‘moving pictures’.
1 year ago today deandre jordan sent brandon knight to the shadow realm with a monster dunk